WORST. DREAM. EVER. !!!

I am still bawling my eyes out. AWFUL!!

So tomorrow...or now today...is my 16 week check up with Dr. Shin.

So in my dream I'm at the Dr's office...my mom and younger sister are there with me. We go to the back exam room and Dr. Shin is checking my tummy....and she says "For how far along you are I'd expect your uterus to be about here (a little below my belly button)." She ends up changing my due date back TWO WEEKS. And she never ends up doing a doppler for the heart beat.

So then my sister and mom are out in the waiting room and I'm back in the u/s room. But no one is there and I don't get my u/s done. So as I'm about to walk out to leave I see Dr. Shin and I tell her, "I just want to make sure my baby is ok, can we at least do an u/s?"

She begrudgingly agrees and I grab my mom and we walk down this hall...and enter my church's gymnasium. There is a baby grand and a microphone over by the stage and she hands my the microphone and tells me to place it on my belly.

So I put it right around my belly button and immediately hear the baby's heart beat. She tells me to move the microphone around and I do...and the baby sticks his hand out and pushes the mic away. And I'm like, "That's so cool!" and my mom is all excited.

The next thing I know, the amniotic sac is out on the table and I'm still holding the microphone up to it and the baby moves to push the microphone away and ends up tearing the sac. And fluid starts leaking.

I ask Dr. Shin if she can repair it, and she's like, "It's small enough I can just stitch it up."

Then the baby keeps moving and tears a huge hole in the sac. Fluid is leaking everywhere. I look at Dr. Shin with fear and she goes over to the table, picks up my baby, and as she is walking away says, "We're going to have to do a D&C."

I kept screaming no, no, no, no, no....and just crumble to the floor in my mother's lap just sobbing. Yelling for my baby.

Then everything goes black.


THAT was my dream. I am totally freaked out and crying and just emotionally exhausted. I want to see my baby and know everything is ok!

Frowny Face!!!

So today Dave and I planted flowers in our front yard. One of the kids in the neighborhood came riding up on his bicycle. Dave asked him how he was doing and how is new sister was (Momma had a baby in Jan/Feb).

Then, Dave said that we were having a baby in October.

Me, silly, silly me, said, "Can't you tell?" You can really only see my baby bump when I'm nekkid.

His reply? "No...but you do look fatter than you used to!" And he rode off.

Ugh!

Sweet dreams are made of these...

So, this dream may not make sense to anyone unless you work on mother/baby...but it made me laugh so I thought I'd type it while I remember it...

So, I'm on the night shift, sitting next to Brenda (our unit secretary - shout outs to Brenda! =)) when this guy comes off the elevator, talking on his cell phone, and asks if we have a staple remover. Both Brenda and I think he's talking about a paper staple remover...and there's a cute little green one sitting right under the monitor and Brenda gives it to him.

Well, he walks off, still talking on his phone....then we over hear him say to his wife, "Hold on, I'm on my way. I'll come take your staples out so you'll feel better." Brenda and I exchange "oh sh!t" faces, and Brenda pops out of her chair and runs after the guy.

"Sir! Uh-uh! Give me that thing back! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

By the time I catch up to her, this guy is now wearing a hospital gown over his clothes - I guess for the 'sterile' staple removal he was about to perform? Anyway, I'm like "WTF?"

So he goes on to say that his wife is in great pain and needs to be seen immediately.

So Brenda, April and I go down the hall to her room...and she's laying on a bunk bed. The top bunk. We try to get her to sit up, and when she does, April finds bottles and bottles of pain medicine, and a whole unopened packaged of Nubain under her pillows. April had climbed up the side of the bunk bed to check. She's screaming in pain when we sit her up, and so Karen G calls anesthesia for another blood patch.

Apparently this lady has a spinal headache - and she already had a blood patch - but they put it in her head. So there's this big mushy spot (like a caput) on the top of this lady's head.

Karen and I go out to the desk (she was in room 413) and talk to the anesthesiologist, Craig. Craig is looking at an x-ray of Mrs. 413's head on one of the computers. Then Karen proceeds to say that the first blood patch they do in the shape of a milk bone, and if it doesn't relieve the pressure, the next thing they do is try it in the shape of a pink bow. How pink works in there, I don't know. But she was being very matter-of-fact about it. And Craig was watching her like, "Oh, yeah! That's what we do next!"


...then I rolled over and felt my bladder scream, "empty me!!!" for the 4th time tonight. I tried to get back in the dream...but it was gone.

Hot Steppin'

If my sciatic nerve had a face, I imagine this is what it would look like:


Baby has discovered how to kill me already. The past two days, from my left butt cheek down, my sciatic nerve has been crying tales of woe.

Positive note: I have now officially grown a baby bump, with or without a full bladder. It happened after I had an Oreo milkshake. And yes, it is a baby bump. It is not fat. At least, that is what I keep telling myself.
Lesson learned? Baby likes Oreo milkshakes. They make he/she/it grow strong. Baby can have all the Oreo milkshakes it wants.

Dream a little dream of me...

So last night was the first night I actually had a dream about the baby. So, if the wive's tales are true - I'm having a boy. At least, in the dream it was a boy...sort of.

So I'm dreaming along...and here I am in the Dr's office about to find out the sex of the baby. I'm all excited...she's doing the ultrasound, baby's looking good.

"Can you tell if it's a boy or a girl?" I ask.

"Let's take a look, shall we?" the tech says. She maneuvers the ultrasound thing around on my tummy.

"Looks like it's a boy!" She says. Then her brow furrows. "Wait a second..."

I look at the screen. Low and behold, there is a THIRD LEG where his doo-dah should be. Complete with foot and toes.

"Is it supposed to look like that?" is all I can think to ask. "I mean with the foot and everything?"

Then there's a close-up of the monitor...and there are definitely three legs.

"Well, we'll have the Dr take a look at it, but everything looks fine! Congratulations!" she says.


This isn't a good sign, is it??

Introducing...

pSyChO cHiCk!

Poor Dave. Yesterday he was submitted to a heavy dose of Psycho Chick. I hadn't slept well (if at all) the night before (peeing, peeing, peeing, dave snoring) so I wasn't in the best of moods. But I got through church okay. Then we came home. We were making burgers for lunch, so I was getting everything together - making pasta salad, some baked beans...then, I couldn't find the ketchup. You can't eat a burger WITHOUT ketchup. So I start spazzing out on Dave. I don't remember what exactly I accused him of, but I know it was all his fault that the ketchup was gone. So he comes to look in the fridge with me...and wala! There it is. Sitting on the shelf. But it was still his fault. So we're working in the kitchen when he spills the dogs water bowl (which just happened to be in the MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR) instead of where it should be by the fridge. So that pisses me off further. And mind you, I have no clue that I'm really this upset. It all came pouring out when Dave spilled fruit punch on my table cloth - the last table cloth ever in that color - target no longer carries it and I can't find it anywhere else. And it MATCHES the curtains. Not easy to do! So then he starts getting mad at me for being mad at him and it just makes me get more mad at him because I can't believe he's mad at me for something I have no clue how to control. And then I start crying because I feel so alone when I'm hormonal because I don't know why I am feeling this way or how to stop it and I don't know how to explain it or how to make sense of it and I just want to be left alone because no one understands me and I'm exhausted and sleep-deprived and I just want to have one night where dave isn't snoring and I don't have to get up to pee 500 times and the dogs aren't licking my face or taking over the bed and that the house isn't so hot at night when I'm trying to sleep and why isn't my stomach popping out yet and when will I ever look pregnant and is this thing a boy or a girl because I really want to go shopping but I can't...are you exhausted yet? Because I am. Welcome to my brain.
So Dave left to go meet with his sister, and I climbed upstairs to take a much needed nap...
3 hours later I'm happy-go-lucky again.

So long Psycho Chick....I'm sure we'll be meeting you again.

Waisting away...

So I'm 15 weeks along now...and still nothing to show. I just look fat. My waist is gone. I look like a rectangle. Every morning I get excited because I have a little bump...but it soon deflates after I pee. My jeans are getting hard to button. But still no "baby bump" to speak of.

This weekend I went shopping with my mom and Papa and bought a maternity suit. It only took trying on 10 different suits and the help of the store manager (let's just say my boobs are bigger than what they're used to dealing with...lucky me!). But I finally found one that kept things...in check. Ha. Don't you love how I've lost my prudie censor? Being a nurse will do that to you.
But while I was in there changing - the manager suggested I put on the "belly pad" to make sure the suit was right. Holy crap. That thing made me huge! If I get that big at 6 months - just kill me now! I guess I hadn't really contemplated this whole pregnancy thing through. Too late, right? I mean, I want some sort of belly so I feel justified parking in the "expectant moms" spot at Publix, but I don't want to be a hippo! Oye. It's going to be a long 6 months.

Dance, white boy, dance!

This video slightly reminds me of my brother dancing when he was younger...only this kid is a little more creative...it cracks me up! enjoy!

Morning, sunshine!

So I've survived two days on day shift. Tell you what -- I am LOVING it. I can already tell a difference in how I feel physically. I'm not always so drained and it's so busy the time just flies by.
Today I didn't sit down from 7 till 2. Running running running. Only problem is - it's hard to keep Cleatus fed when I'm on the go. But even going 7 hours without eating my sugar didn't drop.
The negatives? Waking up at 5:30. Having to wait for Drs so you can do your job. Not being a friendly morning person.
All in all, so far so good. I am somewhat closer to a normal sleep pattern. I think it will take a few weeks. I'm just trying to figure out what to do with my day off tomorrow. I'm so used to sleeping through them! I should clean and catch up on laundry...but no matter how much I do the mess/laundry pile never goes away.

Random updates...

Just to catch everyone up on the latest news - and so I don't forget - just thought I'd post a couple things that have happened or are happening.

Today we had my mom, dad, and grandpa over for Lunch/Dinner and conference. Poor Papa - there isn't a single house in Georgia without stairs! But he made it up and down without any problems.

Saturday Dave got his Father's Day present a little early - a new grill! Our old one caught fire a while back (sorry Chad and Chanelle!) and almost caught the house on fire. Good times. Luckily I was asleep when this happened or I would have freaked...now it's just funny.

My morning sickness is mostly gone (knock on wood!). I have moments and days here and there where I just feel sick all the time. But at least it's no longer all day.

Now, I just have problems with my blood sugar dropping. I can't count the number of times I've almost passed out the past week or two. I'm trying to up my protein intake to give me a longer boost - but sometimes it bottoms out anyway.

Friday night was my last night shift. I will be going to days starting this Wednesday. I'm nervous - mostly because I am NOT a morning person and I'm afraid I'll sleep through the alarm. I'm used to going to BED at 5am, not getting up. Hopefully this will change soon - but seeing as I'm wide awake at 4am it doesn't seem like it will happen before Wednesday. It's going to be a long week. And, my new weekend seems to fall on Easter every year - so I feel kind of sacrilegious (sp?) for having to work.

Last Sunday I was released as a primary worker and called to be the YW Secretary. Did you know they changed the YW Theme again? I didn't. I think they added Virtue as one of the values.

Still not showing - tummy looks like it always has. Hopefully I'll at least have a bubble in a couple weeks.

I'm hoping I can beg the US tech at the MD's office to take a look and see if she can tell boy or girl at my next appnt (April28th). I have a low-lying placenta so they're supposed to monitor me more frequently to make sure it moves...otherwise it's a c-section. But there's PLENTY of time for it to move. So hopefully I'll have another US...Kinda bummed the subchorionic bleed is gone because they definitely would be doing one....we'll see! Maybe I can buddy up to Dr. Shin now that I'm on days.

I'm wondering if I can payroll deduct the baby fees - they did let me payroll deduct my surgery...hmm...

Anyways, that's all the updates I can think of for now...hopefully I'll be sleeping soon!

12 weeks and counting!

So today I had my 12 week ultrasound. I'll post pictures once I figure out the scanner....

I lost 13 lbs due to lovely morning sickness and STRONG food aversions. That was exciting - I felt like I gained 20 with how bloated I feel.

They took 8 tubes of blood. Well, 8 and a half. One of the vacuums stopped working on the vacutainers. Good thing I've got extra blood flowing through me or Dave would have had to scrape me off the floor. My blood sugar was already starting to run a little low.

My subchorionic bleed is COMPLETELY gone. No trace of it anywhere. So I am off all restrictions, with no threat of bed rest at this time...hooray for answered prayers!

Baby is totally fine. Has 2 arms and 2 legs and 10 fingers and 10 toes. He/She was sleeping while we were getting the ultrasound done, so the tech jiggled the ultrasound...wand?...on my tummy and baby woke up and started kicking and moving around. HR was 168. It was so weird seeing it move on the screen and not feel anything.

Right before the Dr visit my insurance called and said they had me in a program called "New Beginnings" I think- which is included in my plan - so I have an advice nurse I can call 24/7 whenever I have questions about me or the baby. And they're sending me a free book. Your Baby Week by Week I think it's called. Something like that. It would have been nice to know I had someone to call when I was having a meltdown last week thinking I'd lost the baby because I wasn't feeling sick and my pooch was gone and I wasn't peeing so often. Freakin' hormones! But, everything is fine.

So tonight I will be saying many prayers of thanks that all is well with the baby and me.

Things My Mother Taught Me

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and! I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23 My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"